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Mentoring – Where Relationships Can Begin






When this topic came to me we started with “mentoring – where relationships begin” and then evolved to what we have as the title for this article. After reflecting on the title I realized that not all mentoring relationships are great – sufficient enough to fit the title above. So why is that?

The mentoring process relies very heavily on the development of trusted relationships. Without the trust you truly have nothing. It is through the building of trust that mentor and mentee will be comfortable in sharing very personal information. Some of that personal information may be traumatic enough that it is acting as a block or impediment in moving forward in the relationship, addressing the root causes and enhancing the personal and professional growth. In some respects it is a healing process that needs to take place and that can only be realized if the relationship is solid.

I have experienced mentor/mentee matches that the chemistry was just not there. The trust could not even begin to germinate and as a result the two parties slowly drifted apart. I have seen other situations where the chemistry was almost instant and the trust germinated immediately and continued to flower and grow as time went on.

Creating that safe environment and in some cases a healing environment is the ultimate goal in a mentoring relationship. Developing those techniques and skill sets can take time. What I find most interesting is that once you are able to create the safe/healing environment other techniques begin to fall into place. Your ability to read energy levels whether it be positive or negative or both will begin to flourish. You will also sense or interpret where the relationship is going before it actually goes there. I have found out more about myself in the past 6 months than I have ever and I have developed the ability to mentor at a level that I have never realized before. What is just as important is that I believe in myself which is something that can help in the relationship building journey. All too often we fail to give ourselves that extra pat on the back and to be able to accept positive reinforcement for a job well done. Think back over your mentoring career and the number of people that you have had an impact on. You did make a difference in their lives because you took the time to demonstrate genuine caring that was part of the relationship that you built with that person.

Building trusted relationships is not something that you can learn from a text book. It takes time and lots of practice. You need to be flexible, a great communicator, open minded and willing to change directions on the fly if things are not progressing forward. You need to know the questions to ask and there are many. You need to be able to listen and hear and hear those trigger words in the conversation. These are obviously great communication skills but they are also part of the relationship building process. I bring more value to a relationship whether it is a mentoring relationship or some other simply by being a great communicator. We all need to take some time and think of those conversations we have had that did not go well. You had a relationship with that person to some degree and may well have damaged or destroyed it simply by how you communicated or didn’t communicate. We can change that picture.

Here is what I want you to do. The next conversation that you are going to have with either a person you are in a mentoring relationship with or someone in some other form of a relationship practice some of the techniques that I have mentioned above. Watch the reaction that you get when you communicate in this fashion. The walls will come down and you will see a shift in their body language. Make sure that you are genuine – people can see through someone that is not sincere. If you need some guidance on the steps feel free to reach out to me. I would love to have a conversation with you. I am here to be of service and to bring value to your personal, spiritual and professional growth. Put all of this into practice and it won’t be a matter of “when your relationship can begin”, it will be “when your relationship will begin!” Embrace “The Gift of Mentoring!”