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There is a lot of talk about emotional intelligence and what does it mean in our day to day lives. I thought we would first explore that and then look at the significance of emotional intelligence in the mentoring process.
Emotional intelligence has been defined as the “capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. From a leadership perspective there are five main elements: 1) self-awareness, 2) self-regulation, 3) motivation, 4) empathy, and 5) social skills. These five main elements are the very same elements that we look for in the mentor and the mentoring process. When we break this down to see how this might impact us as effective mentors we see that having the ability to perceive emotions in others is important. What is just as important if not more so is the ability to look within – to see our own emotions and how we react to those emotions. You can train your body and your mind to react in a positive way when it comes to addressing your emotions and stress. Emotional intelligence plays a huge role in our ability to understand depression and to be aware of potential red flags.
Mentors need to be aware of how they react with people in various situations. Maintaining that calming influence is the positive response that we are looking for. I have had a number of mentoring sessions that I would have lost control of if it were not for being able to manage my emotional intelligence.
Emotions play a huge role in the success of the mentoring relationship. There have been many times that I have been engaged in a mentoring relationship where emotions were operating at a high. For the mentor being able to manage those emotions from within is important and then being able to demonstrate empathy is a crucial element for the success of the relationship. Your ability to assist in creating that safe place, that sense of calmness is part of being an effective mentor.
Take a step back and self-assess where you are today with “your” emotional intelligence. Is this a place where you need to reach out to create opportunities for personal growth? Perhaps it is time for you to secure the wisdom and guidance of your own mentor to navigate through these challenges. Perhaps it is time for you to experience “The Gift of Mentoring”.
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