I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here is a question I received recently and my response.

Will a bully make a good corporate leader?

No.

We don’t need or want a bully at the helm of the organization. What happens when this occurs is that the good employees will leave because they can. I have seen this in a number of situations where a leader or leaders were bullying. Bullying is a way to mask insecurity and it can lead to Mental Health issues for the victims of bullying. Mental Health issues when not addressed properly in an organization can result in increased sick time and lost productivity. More importantly it can also cause pain and suffer for someone that does not need to experience pain and suffering.

Bullying is not good for the organization, their clients and their employees. It is not a leadership trait - never has been and never will be.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is something that can affect anyone who has been through a traumatic event. Most people learn to live with it, but there are treatment options out there. Some sufferers manage it with medication, especially with the way that ptsd and marijuana have been found to balance each other out. Of course, not every country has legalized the use of marijuana as of yet, which means that some patients suffering from PTSD may not be able to receive this treatment until the laws are changed. However, there are other, similar products that are derived from hemp rather than marijuana, and they have been more widely accepted in modern medicine as they have less than 0.3% of THC, the psychoactive element that produces mind-altering effects. Even with all of these treatment options, the problem is, that many organizations are still ill-equipped to deal with employee stress and PTSD in the workplace.

One of the biggest mistakes with managements' approach to dealing with employees is treating everyone the same cookie-cutter approach. PTSD shows up differently in different people and does not tend to effect men and women the same. In fact, women tend to be more susceptible to PTSD than men, and tend to be affected over a longer period of time. Both may find benefits from Amuse items, but the situation will still affect them differently. This is not intended to label women as being weaker but to highlight that multiple approaches and solutions are required.

About 10 out of every 100 women (10%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives
compared with about 4 out of every 100 men (4%).

*Stats based on U.S. population (2019) (https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_adults.asp)

Before diving into the gender differences and why we must offer multiple approaches and solutions; we must be clear on what PTSD is.

What is PTSD?

PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/combat, rape or other violent personal assault. PTSD has been known by many names in the past, such as "shell shock" during the years of World War I and "combat fatigue" after World War II.

However, while PTSD is typically associated with military and first responders, PTSD can occur in all people, of any ethnicity, nationality, culture, beliefs, and at any age.

PTSD triggers are often accompanied with depression, substance use, memory issues (such as accelerated Dementia & Alzheimer's), and other physical, mental, and spiritual health challenges. All of these potential PTSD symptoms are worrying, especially as most people who suffer from PTSD are older veterans. For those who do start displaying signs of memory issues, it might be worth learning more about a memory care facility that could improve the lives of individuals that might be suffering from dementia or memory loss.

* Reference: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd

PTSD differences between men and women

In general, PTSD will affect about 4% of men and 10% of women in a typical North American sample.

* Reference: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd

Women have over double the PTSD rate than that of men. Women's PTSD also tends to last longer (4 years versus 1 year on average). Women are more at risk for chronic PTSD than men.

How men and women deal with trauma - what does the research say?

Research shows that men and women tend to experience the same trauma in different ways.
Both Men and Women at some point in their life may deal with the stress of:

• Accidents
• Natural disasters
• Disasters caused by humans
• Bullying – in school, home, community and workplace
• Family stressors
• Daily stressors – personal and professional

Research shows that men and women tend to experience different stress and traumas.
While both men and women serve in the military, more Men are likely to experience:

• Combat and military trauma

In demanding work environments both men and women experience stress and traumas as:

• First responders
• Field workers
• Fear, intimidation, dismissiveness, and demeaning behavior in the workplace, sometimes daily

Personally, both men and women may experience stress and traumas

• Family strife
• Illness
• Accidents

Additionally, women are more likely to experience stress and traumas (sometimes daily) from:

• Dealing with sexist dismissiveness, and unwanted advances at the workplace
• Fear, intimidation, dismissiveness, demeaning, and sexist behaviour at home
• Physical and mental domestic violence
• Sexual abuse and assault

Does experiencing PTSD in genders differ?

• On average, women tend to be more susceptible than men to additional mental health challenges:
  • anxiety disorders
  • environmental depression
  • genetic vulnerability to depression
  • high anxious temperament
  • societal attitudes
  • gender roles
  • income inequalities
• Research shows that women have higher rates of PTSD than men. Women's greater exposure to sexual trauma, sexual coercion, and intimate partner violence plays a role, as well as biological, environmental, and coping factors. When families, social groups, government bodies, news media, or organizations disbelieve, disrespect, or minimize girls' and women's experiences of sexual trauma, this can cause a great deal of harm to mental health.
• On top of that Women tend to report about a third less traumas they suffer than men do. This means women are at higher risk of PTSD even though they experience fewer traumatic life events than men on average. This is surprising and suggests there may be something about the type of trauma or women's reactivity that puts them at higher risk.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201809/why-women-have-higher-rates-ptsd-men

How can Effective Mentoring Help Organizations Support Employees Suffering from PTSD?

1. Assign an Effective Mentor to the organization to assess and create the organization's customized PTSD Support System
2. Build the PTSD Support System customized to the organization's needs
3. Train new mentors inside the organization to participate in the PTSD Support System to become extraordinary mentors demonstrating proper mentoring strategies
4. Increase employee awareness of the PTSD Support System to start the healing process
5. Continually monitor, analyze, and augment the PTSD Support System for employees
6. Seek addition organization and community involvement
7. Demonstrate how the PTSD Support System helps to heal:
   • Employee (individual)
   • (workplace) Organization
   • Family
   • Community

We see situations all the time where organizations require sending employees to external professional resources. Those waiting lists are long, often waiting months for assistance, and the employee is then left to deal on their own with the trauma in the meantime.

This causes more stress for other employees, less productivity, and more leave time.

Bring in Effective Mentoring will assist in the healing process for the individual and the organization, creating an engaging, thriving workplace environment.

Effective Mentoring does not only assist with PTSD, but in all workplace stressors and challenges, creating an engaging, thriving workplace environment for all employees in all situations.

If you have any questions about how Effective Mentoring can create a more engaging, thriving workplace environment for your organization, contact me.

https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence

www.linkedin.com/in/douglawrence-mentor

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I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.

Q: If you could be mentored by a "rich" business person who would it be and why?

A: I highly recommend that your criteria for a mentor not be based solely on someone’s financial status. They may well have some great experience to share but there is more to mentoring than your financial status. You need to look beyond that when selecting a mentor.

I can think of a number of people that I would ask to be my mentor and none of them are what I would call “rich” financially. They are rich however in other areas which are more important to me.

Q: What is the best people skill advice that you would like to offer to someone?

A: To build relationships with your team - relationships premised on trust. Learn how to communicate effectively. I see a lot of people in leadership roles that create a fire storm rather than quelling it simply because they are not great or effective communicators.

Q: As a coach / mentor, what offends you the most?

A: I think that the word offend is a bit strong. I would suggest that I may be disappointed but I am never offended. If I look at this from a mentor-mentee relationship I could be disappointed when both parties are not committed to the relationship and the mentoring process. To not be part of the “gift of mentoring” is an error in judgement to say the least.

Q: How and where can I find a free legit mentor on entrepreneurship and business?

A: I would be doing some searching via Google to see what you can find. There are lots of organization that work with entrepreneurs and provide mentoring as part of their service. Some of the organizations charge a fee for their services which may include mentoring.

I would recommend exploring a couple of options that would include paying for mentoring services and mentoring being provided for free. As a mentor I find that people are more inclined to be committed to the process when they have to pay something for the service. The ROI is greater all around.

Q: What should you never say to your mentor?

A: It would depend on the relationship that you have with your mentor. With all the people that I spend time with in a mentoring relationship we focused on building a trusted and respectful relationship. As a result there is truly nothing that we could not say or share. If you define the terms of the relationship up front this question will never come up.

Q: How can I get a business mentor and co-founder?

A: From my perspective finding a business mentor and a co-founder are two separate things. The co-founder would be too invested in the business to not bring bias to a mentoring relationship. While there may be some elements of mentoring that takes place it would not be to the full extent that a business mentor would bring.

Q: Why does a command and control leadership style still exist when business demands and research show other leadership styles are more effective and needed?

A: I would suggest that it is hopefully the tail end of the old guard who lead by command and control. Command and control is a leadership style that may have served us at one time point but it is certainly not the style that we need to move forward with. We need to be people focused, inspiring our employees to be the best that they can be. We need to communicate better as we have lost the art of effective communication. The majority of the organizations that bring me in to work with them are experiencing a lack of effective communication skills. We need to better understand what the statement “lack of” means as it is causing us to begin to spiral and that is not good from the organization’s perspective and the people that they serve. People don’t respond all that well to command and control. I know that I never did!

Q: Does leadership training work?

A: Depends on your definition of training.

Most organizations provide the academic piece of a leadership development program. Most do not provide mentoring as a support to the leadership development program. The two go hand in hand.

What needs to take place with any leadership development program is - 1) the classroom - academic piece, and 2) a mentor assigned to the perspective leadership candidate to work with them after the classroom - academic part is done. Weekly meetings initially to reflect on what has taken place over the past week will make the transition into leadership roles more successful.

I am working with an organization that provides mentorship to new managers in order to set them up for success. The transition from employee to manager has gone smoothly.

Q: How can one hire a mentor for a career in the petroleum industry?

A: Understanding what you might get from a mentoring relationship is important. Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee will learn and grow together on a personal and professional basis.

You can acquire (paid or free) a mentor with industry experience or you can acquire (paid or free) a mentor that has some form of training and can guide you on your journey. My experience is that industry experience is a nice to have - not a need to have.

I would search using Google to answer your question. Paid mentors are usually by the hour or by the session (similar to business coaches). You need to make sure that the person is a good fit for what you wish to accomplish especially if you are pursuing a paid mentor.

Q: Why do some people flourish with mentors, others not so much?

A: There are two variables in this equation, the mentor and the mentee. If there isn’t commitment to the mentoring relationship/process on either part then the relationship will not be successful. If you have a mentor who is mentoring because they have been told that is what they must do then you lessen the chance of a successful relationship. If you have a mentee that has been told that they must participate in a workplace mentoring program then you will likely struggle for anyone to succeed.

If you have a trained mentor and they are able to build a trusted relationship with the mentee you will see success. If your mentor is open and flexible to learn as well as the mentee then you have created an environment of learning and development for both parties in the relationship. A win-win situation.

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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC® and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.

Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).

An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in 2020.

Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve?  Schedule a time to meet with Doug:     https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence

I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.

Q: How do you initiate a mentor-mentee relationship?

A: First off you need to find someone that could be a mentor for you. That may be from your current network or through some other sources such as a mentor software site that has a database of mentors. (www.mentorcity.com)

There are also some organizations that offer mentorship to people as part of their services that they provide. If you are an entrepreneur there are programs that have mentorship included. (www.futurepreneur.ca)

Once you have found a mentor then the next step is to set up a time to meet and define the terms of the relationship. Makes sure you both articulate your expectations so that it is clear what both parties hope to gain from the time spent together.

I usually have the first meeting and then recommend that we sleep on it. If I wake up in the morning feeling positive about the proposed relationship then I am ready to move forward. If I am not feeling good then I will work with you to find someone that you would be more compatible with.

Q: I'm a teacher and I love it, but I don't feel as if I'm a good teacher. What can I do to improve?

A: You could connect with a mentor as the first step. Your willingness to improve is the sign of a person who wants to continue to improve and continue to be of value to others.

My favorite quote is “when we stop learning, we stop leading” (Ken Blanchard). Don’ t view this as something negative but view this as an opportunity to learn and grow. Believe in yourself and the value that you bring to the classroom. As a teacher you are changing lives and you are doing that with passion. Continue your focus in that direction and believe in who you are.

Q: Can you provide an example of transformational leadership?

A: Steve Jobs – Steve Jobs has to mandatorily be one of the names in the most iconic transformational leaders the world has ever seen. His passion for perfection, simplicity and sophistication drove the company and he made sure that it got engraved into every employee who worked at Apple. He constantly challenged his employees to think beyond what has already been done and made them create products that the world did not even know it needed.

Q: Why don't more people get start-up mentoring? Research shows founders with mentors are far more successful.

A: I agree that having a mentor contributes to achieving success. It is possible that we do not have enough incubators that can provide mentoring as part of their service. It could also be that the cost of mentors through the incubator are too steep for someone in the early stages. There is also the issue of you sometimes get what you pay for. Sometimes we get a business coach when we actually wanted a mentor. If you are a start-up you need to do some homework to see if there are any incubators in your area. If not then I encourage you to reach out through this site to find someone. Take a look at www.levellingup.ca. This is a great organization that has a unique model for providing the services that it offers.

Q; Do you believe leadership is born talent?

A: I believe that some people are born leaders while others learn the skill over time. i also believe that you can be at different levels as a leader depending on your lived experiences and capacity to continuous learn.

Jim Collins and a couple of other leadership experts speak to the 5 levels of leadership. (Good to Great - Jim Collins).

The challenge that we have today is in the development of those highly sought after skills. There is a global leadership talent shortage that is not getting better but is getting worse. Leadership development needs to become a priority for organizations.

Q: How can a manager with an empowering style succeed in an organization with very little authority granted to employees and managers?

A: My first thought was that perhaps this is not the right organization for you if your style differs from that of the organization.

We always tell leaders that each employee that they work with is unique and that they have to tailor their leadership style to meet the needs of each employee. This creates the optimum organization and a positive culture.

What I teach employees that I work with through mentoring is the reverse of this concept. I get them to see each manager that they work with as being unique and how they communicate with that manager needs to be tailored to that particular person. Use of the Socratic Method of asking questions can be a valuable tool but it must be used correctly or it may make things worse.

My suggestion is that you would benefit from a trained mentor who will provide you with some tools to deal with the situation that you have outlined.

I have been working with a couple of people recently that have experienced exactly what you are talking about. I have provided them with the tools they need to increase their survival rate.

Q: What is involved in a mentor relationship? As the mentor and as the beneficiary.

A: First off we need to understand the definition of mentoring: Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee are both going to learn and grow on a personal and professional basis.

This is a bit of a paradigm shift in that the Traditional style of mentoring was always an older person mentoring a younger person with a focus on career development (professional growth). You could also add into the mix the idea of a younger person mentoring an older person - referred to as “reverse mentoring” which is a term I am not a huge fan of. Reverse means to go backwards - my mentoring relationships are not focused on going backwards!

The term effective mentoring fits quite nicely with the definition provided - a two way trust relationship where both parties learn and grow together.

There needs to be commitment on the part of the mentor and mentee. There needs to be accountability to each other. Expectations need to be set at the very beginning of the relationship. Personal growth challenges need to be addressed early if not first in the relationship (self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-doubt). There should be a comfort level in sharing something personal in order to build trust. If you can’t establish trust then the relationship will not be successful.

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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.

Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).

An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.

Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve?  Schedule a time to meet with Doug:     https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence

I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses

Q: How do I find a mentor coach to help with behavioral addictions?

A: From a mentor perspective we look at personal and professional growth. Behavioral addictions would be what I refer to as obstacles or barriers to your professional growth. A trained mentor will only be able to do so much and you would need professional counseling to take you further. Having said that if you engage with an effective mentor they would still own the relationship with you and would have the network of professionals that they can connect you with.

Q: What attributes should a good mentor have?

A: First off I believe we need to understand the true definition of mentoring. Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee will both learn and grow personally and professionally.

There are mentors, great mentors and extraordinary mentors - each with their own skill set and abilities.

You would want a mentor that is great at building trust and in fact trusted relationships, is an effective communicator. By that I mean that they listen and hear, they know when to be quiet and listen versus always wanting to take the floor. They need to have compassion and the ability to build a safe environment for a mentoring conversation to take place. They need to understand the Socratic Method of asking questions and need to know when and how to use that technique. They need to guide versus tell and must never be responsible for the outcomes - if this happens they then take ownership of accountability and will create a dependency relationship.

I hope that this gives you some insight into what you should be looking for.

Q: What does a professional mentor do?

A: Great question!

I would be what you call a professional mentor or the term that I use is extraordinary mentor.

Here is the definition of an extraordinary mentor: “An extraordinary mentor is the one person that we all seek to become “our” mentor. They have embraced effective mentoring and the mentoring concepts as a way of life. They are typically someone that has had formal training and is certified as a competent mentor. Their client base spans the corporate world, private sector and entrepreneurial space. They demonstrate that industry knowledge is a nice to have – not a need to have as they are comfortable working cross industry. They are humble and use story telling/story sharing as a means to share their experiences. They mentor in person and remotely using technology as a communication medium. They are a student of the mentoring process and strive to learn and grow as much as the people they are mentoring. They create that extraordinary mentoring experience.”

I mentor people at all levels of an organization in person and virtually globally. I focus on the personal aspect of my client and then on their professional growth as the two are very much related.

If you wish to learn more please feel free to reach out to me and we can have a conversation.

Q: As a mentor, how do you get through to those facing different challenges than you had?

A: An extraordinary mentor is good at asking questions and knowing the right questions to ask in order to stimulate the critical thinking skills of their mentee. They are also good at story telling or story sharing using relevant experiences that are translated into a story format - guiding not telling.

I have had mentoring sessions that I did not have industry experience in on a professional level or something that the person is dealing with on a personal basis. I have found in each and every one that asking questions and telling stories has helped us navigate through the challenges with positive outcomes.

Proper mentor training will help alleviate questions that you may have on how to pull all of this together.

Q: Which mentors have helped you helped you in your life and which were not worth the time as you look back now?

A: All of my mentors - current and past has brought something to the mentor relationship. I can honestly say that there was never the time that I would say that it had been worth the time. If you are wanting to work with a mentor you need to be open to learning and development and knowing how to identify what those learning opportunities are. Sometimes the messages are there but we just don’t realize it at that specific time. Listen and hear what is being shared with you as it can be transformational.

Q: How do you mentor or help that one person who is always judgemental in pointing out the flaws of their co-workers?

A: My first question would be whether or not this person is open to constructive feedback themselves before they pass judgement on others. A large part of the challenge is the lack of communication skills in situations like this. One of the things that we teach through the mentoring process is the art of effective communication which would work well in this particular case. Using the pause technique and asking yourself how is what I am about to say going to be received is a great place to start. If you have any doubt that it will not be received in the right context then perhaps it is time to reword! This process works really well and enhances people’s communication skills.

Q: As a supervisor or boss, how do you handle a worker who has issues at work?

A: What some organizations have done is to bring in an external mentor to work with the employee to initiate behavioral changes for the positive. In all the situations that I have been involved in we have been successful in each and every one. In some cases the issues were personal which translated into work place behavior challenges. In other situations it was all about providing tools to assist in a positive behavior going forward. One thing to keep in mind is that it is not always the worker who needs guidance but it could also be the supervisor or boss.

Q: What are the benefits to having a business mentor?

A: I started my own business a number of years ago and have had mentors with me for the entire journey. I found mentors that brought certain skills and knowledge to the table to assist me. The important thing was that they all shared their lived experience but did not tell me what to do. They encouraged me by asking me questions to get me to critically think my way through the various challenges and opportunities that I would encounter.

I would not be where I am today if it were not from their guidance.

Q: How can entrepreneurs/founders get more leadership training?

A: Leadership training can come in a number of different manners of which mentoring is one. I am working with organizations to help develop their new managers through the mentoring process. I work with entrepreneurs to provide them with guidance to enhance their leadership capabilities. Formal leadership training if recommended is only part of the journey. You do need to have mentoring built into any leadership development program that you may have. I would recommend reaching out to a trained mentor to see what they can do for you. Make sure that you are going to get value from this and that they are the right fit for your organization.

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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.

Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).

An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.

Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve?  Schedule a time to meet with Doug:     https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence

I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.

Q: Is buying mentorship worth it in 2019?

A: I agree with Wesley in that you need to make the decision whether you want to invest in yourself or not. A mentor can’t answer that for you. You obviously would have some options. A session by session option works for you from not having to commit to the long term but makes it really difficult to develop a trusting relationship which is a foundational element for successful mentoring relationships/arrangements. Purchasing a package of time is another option that would work for both you and the mentor. The mentor can commit to a strategy over a fixed period of time versus a commitment session by session.

You can think about the frequency of the mentor sessions and determine if access to your mentor is available in between the scheduled sessions. As part of my service offering I usually provide access to me in between sessions in case something comes up that is better dealt with immediately. Technology will become your best friend in reaching out to your mentor.

Finally you need to ask yourself one question, “Can you afford not to?”

Q: Have you ever mentored a software engineer intern? If so what was your process?

A: I have mentored people in the IT industry including software engineers. The process that I use varies very little between functions and industries. During the expectation discussion of what the mentor and mentee are each looking for I would determine the intern’s need for mentoring and then go from there. What I have found in the majority of my mentoring practice is that mentoring relationships/arrangements are a blend of personal and professional. If we do not address the personal challenges then we will likely have roadblocks and barriers to contend with.

The mentoring process is all about asking questions and that is what I would be doing in this case. I want to learn about the intern, their job, the organization and from there ask questions that stimulate critical thinking. We would work on creating a safe environment for the relationship/arrangement to grow and the building of a trusted relationship.

If you have more questions please feel free to reach out to me.

Q: Is having a mentor really important in order to advance my career?

A: I agree with what Sarah had said. This is a question that only you can truly answer. Understanding what the mentoring process is all about and what the benefits are will help you answer your question.

Think of mentoring as a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and mentee will learn and grow on a personal and professional basis. The relationship must be two way, must be based on respect and trust and must be developed and nurtured in a safe environment.

I would recommend that you do some Google searches on the benefits of mentoring on a personal basis and on a professional basis. Inside all of that information lies the answer to your question. For me, the answer is simply, “Can you afford not to?”

Q: Have you considered using an Executive Coach? Why or why not?

A: I would add one more question to the mix and that is, “have you considered using an executive mentor?” Why or why not.

Executive mentoring is a growing practice. I have been interviewed by a proposed client along with some executive coaches and was selected to provide executive mentoring services. It was all about fit for the person and the value that he/she would receive from me. I am working with executives remotely and face to face on a global stage and it all comes back to understanding what your need is and how is that best served - executive coaching or executive mentoring.

Understanding the difference between the two is important and understanding what the outcomes are that you are looking for are key points that you need to address before securing any of these services. You need to make sure that you are going to get the value that you expect.

Q: Can a person be a good leader and a good mentor both at the same time?

A: The short answer is YES you can be a good leader and good mentor at the same time.

Let me qualify that a little bit more for you. When you look at the skill sets required for great leaders and you compare them to the skill sets required to be a great mentor they are very similar if not identical. In one of the leadership and mentoring presentations that I do on transformational leadership and mentoring I compare the two functions. They are for the most part identical. When you look at servant leadership the skill sets are similar as well.

When you look at Jim Collins’s book Good to Great you see the five levels of leadership. Mentoring has three - mentor, great mentor, and extraordinary mentor.

A great leader is a great mentor and a great mentor is a great leader.

I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.

Q: What’s in it for someone who mentors fellow professionals for free?

A: I have a mix of people that I am in a mentoring partnership with - some that pay for the service and some that I provide the service at no cost. I view that as a way that I can give back.

I firmly believe that it is not about me and my focus needs to be on the person I am being of service to.

I don’t want you to be misguided however as I always come away with learning something from the time I spend with someone. It can be about them, the mentoring process or about myself. Seeing someone else grow whether on a personal or professional note is rewarding enough.

One of the things that I always focus on and always ask the question is, “what was the value that we got from our time together today?” The answer to that question is “what’s in it for me.”

Q: How do you mentor junior project managers?

A: This is a question that I get asked a lot and it always focuses on the myth that I need to have experience in a particular field before I can mentor someone from that industry.

I mentor people in all different industries and sectors and I do not have experience in some of those areas. As a result of being open to learning and asking the right questions I am gaining that knowledge through the mentoring partnerships that I have.

Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where both parties of the mentoring partnership learn and grow on a personal and professional basis. The mentoring of a junior Project Manager would basically require that you follow proper mentoring concepts. You guide through the asking of the right questions to help the person develop or enhance critical thinking skills. Through the asking of those questions you will gain knowledge in the job and the industry that the PM is working in.

What I have found that is the most important task is making sure that you focus on the personal growth at the beginning of the relationship. I have seen far too often that when we don’t address the personal challenges the relationship slowly begins to erode and fall apart.

Q: Do you have a mentor? If you do, how did they become your mentor?

A: I have a number of mentors each who address a specific need or they are capable of addressing more than one specific need.

Some of the mentors that I have had or currently have were as a result of participating in an entrepreneurial start up program where mentoring is a key service that is provided.

Some of the mentors I have today are those that I found through work related relationships and the sense that they could fill a void that I may have. Because of my function as a Certified Competent Mentor and providing of that service to others I have become very particular about who I ask to become one of my mentors.

I am truly blessed to have the mentors that I do as part of my mentoring partnerships.

Q: How would the world be without mentors?

A: I honestly don’t believe that we have tapped into the full potential of mentoring. There is still some confusion as to what mentoring is all about and a lot of people are unsure of how to unlock mentoring in their organization.

I facilitate a mentoring circle every two weeks and we discuss what would life be like without mentoring. We have lots of great examples of where mentoring has been of value but the uncertainty is still there as some struggle understanding the full potential.

My best example of what it would be like is to illustrate what it could be like if we truly embraced the “gift of mentoring”. Imagine a world where mentoring was in place right from the very moment you are brought into the world. Mentoring would begin in the home. As you embarked on your educational journey you got to experience mentoring in the schools. Mentoring that followed you through to your journey to higher education and finally into the corporate world. You would be experiencing a nation, a country, a world that pride’s itself on learning and the sharing of that learning with others through the “gift of mentoring”.

When you picture that and fully embrace the “gift of mentoring” and what it has the potential to do I believe we have painted a picture of what it COULD be like rather than what it is WITHOUT it.  Ask yourself - “can we afford not to?”

Q: What is the best way to find a mentor for my business?

A: There are a number of ways that you can search for and find a mentor. You need to determine first however what it is that you need. You also have to come to terms with the fact that your mentor(s) do not need your industry specific knowledge. It is a nice to have - not a need to have. I am mentoring a number of people in different industries/sectors and we are moving forward with no difficulty.

Check with your local business community to see if there are any mentoring programs where they match mentors and mentees. You can also look on line for various organizations that provide business mentoring.

You may also want to explore a referral. I get a number of people being referred to me so we can begin to discuss whether or not we could work together in a mentoring relationship.

Once you think you have found someone it is really important to explore whether or not there is chemistry between the two of you as without that your relationship will struggle. Make sure you define expectations on both parts. Understand that some mentors charge for their services - if that is the case then you need to do some additional checks to make sure that you will receive value for that service.

Make sure that you are committed to the mentoring relationship and are willing to do the work that is required to be successful on a personal and professional level.

Q: Do you think achieving your goals is the result of mentoring, network connections or luck?

A: When I look back over my career and all of my accomplishments I would have to say that it is a little of all three. My network has provided me with some open doors which has resulted in being able to make a difference. Some of my accomplishments have been luck or more about being in the right place at the right time. Overall though mentoring has been the most consistent process in helping me achieve my goals and continues to do so today. Working with a great mentor is a blessing and is something that we need to commit to the journey. If you don’t commit then you will only see minimal benefits.

Q: What people skills have you learned from a mentor?

A: There are a number of skills that I have learned as a result of mentoring whether it be as a mentor or the recipient of great mentoring. I see everyone as unique and I need to tailor my leadership skills to each person on an individual basis. Mentoring is much the same. Another set of skills that I have learned and how share as part of my mentoring process/technique is “effective communication”. “Effective communication” takes into account active listening - listening and hearing what the other person is saying, listening for trigger words and deflections in the conversation, learning to pause and reflect before speaking - “how is what I am about to say going to be received? “The use of the Socratic Method - asking questions instead of telling someone how to do something.

The list goes on from here. Understanding people and how they communicate is a leadership skill as well as that of an extraordinary mentor.

Q: What is your best advice for someone who is thinking of mentoring others?

A: One of the things that I always recommend to anyone interested in the mentoring process is that if at all possible get some training on mentoring techniques and processes. You will find that by doing so you are able to create a deeper, richer mentoring experience not only for yourself but the person you are going to be mentoring.

Be open to learn as well. With each mentoring session that I do I come away having learned something about the person I am working with or about myself.  I then use that in my reflection that I do before and after each mentoring session.

Be committed to the process and to the person that you are going to be mentoring. Do not impose your expectations on your mentee but seek to understand their expectations and ability to meet those expectations. There are a number of moving parts in the mentoring process.

Most importantly enjoy the journey!

I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.

 Q: Is a mentor crucial to success?

A: Mentoring focuses on personal and professional growth and we can have success in both of those areas. Anytime that you can have someone walk beside you as you continue your growth personally and professionally it is a good idea - in fact highly recommended.

When I look back over my career and where I am today I would not have achieved the success that I have had without the benefit of numerous mentors. These mentors have helped me grow on a personal and professional basis.

The short answer to your question is, “can you afford not to?”

Q: Who is an unlikely mentor and why?

A: Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee will learn and grow together personally and professionally. It is all about building a trusted relationship and for the mentor to be able to create that safe environment for the relationship to nurture and grow.

To specifically answer your question an unlikely mentor for me would be someone that I could not make a connection with - that there was no chemistry with. I may realize part way into the mentoring relationship that this person cannot provide me with what I am looking for. It would be time to end that relationship and look for someone that can provide me with what I want.

What I am finding with all the mentoring that I am doing - paid and free is that the ability to listen is crucial. Someone that is not a good listener would not be a good mentor for me. Sometimes all we need is to talk our way through the problems that we are dealing with.

Q: If you were to pay someone for business coaching and mentorship, what would you look for?

A: I would be wanting to make sure that there was some form of chemistry between us. I would want them to be comfortable with addressing personal and professional growth. There are some business mentors that are not comfortable with the personal growth challenges. I have good examples of where the relationship went sour because they were not able to build a trusting relationship and unable to connect with the soft skills.

Ideally I would want someone that had some form of training. I recently was certified competent as a mentor and I see the value in that for me and how I mentor and it also has an impact for my mentees.

I would want my mentor to validate regularly that they are bringing value especially when I am paying for the service.

There are lot more variables that can come into play when selecting a mentor based on your criteria. These are some that I get most perspective mentees to consider before entering into an agreement for services.

Q: Can mentoring be a hindrance rather than a help to staff progression?

A: Mentoring if done correctly with a person who is committed to the journey would be more of a help rather than a hindrance.

What gets missed in the professional development via mentoring is the personal aspect. I always focus on the personal growth first in order to remove any obstacles or barriers that may be a hindrance to professional development.

Proper training for mentors in the mentoring process is key to all of this.

Q: What do the best Mentors do?

A: Best Mentors or extraordinary mentors want to be of service. They work with people to guide them on their journey to personal and professional growth. Extraordinary Mentors learn and grow along with the people they serve. There isn’t a time when I haven’t learned something from a mentoring session. Extraordinary Mentors are caring, humble and always put the people they serve first.

A great leader is a great mentor and a great mentor is a great leader.

Q: Do you have any mentors? Who are they?

A: I have a number of mentors. I have a mentor that provides me with business advice and guidance, someone that fulfills my need for relationships, someone who can advise me on technology but is also a good friend, someone that can advise me on marketing. This is just a sample of the marvelous people that I have been able to surround myself with.

In the majority of the relationships it is mutual growth on a personal and professional basis. We set expectations for our mentoring relationship and then begin the journey together. We check in every so often to make sure that each of us is getting value from our time together.

We all need to embrace the “Gift of Mentoring” and experience a deeper, richer mentoring experience that will help us personally and professionally.

Q: How can we ask questions to our mentor?

A: To answer your question you need to think what am I searching an answer for? Is it something to do with your personal growth or something to do with your professional growth? I would be asking you what is it that you wish to accomplish that has now become a question that you do not have the answer for.

When you begin the mentoring relationship you need to outline the expectations of that relationship. One of the topics may be how do we communicate (ask questions) of each other in a respectful manner.

When I work with people there is lots of dialogue back and forth until we reach a point where I need to listen rather than talk. Sometimes that is to allow the person I am in a mentoring relationship with to ask questions and other times it is to just listen.

If you are unsure still please feel free to reach out to me and we can set up a time to discuss.

Q: What does a mentor want from you?

A: What I hope for is a person that is committed to the mentoring process. They are ready to grow personally and professionally and are willing to do the heavy lifting in the mentoring relationship. They will be accountable for the outcomes whatever they may be. They understand and accept that I am there to guide - not tell them what to do.

Q: Can you have a mentor that you have never met?

A: You most definitely can. When I look at the people I am working with in a mentor partnership the majority I had never met before. They were introduced to me through referral or via my website and then the scheduling of a time to chat. I have had some mentors that I had known before and they became my mentor as they were able to provide guidance in an area that I needed guidance.(technology, finance)

It is important to note that if you have not met before then take the time to build a solid mentoring partnership. I break a mentoring partnership down into three (3) categories. They are; trusting phase, learning and development phase and the maintenance phase. In this case I recommend some extra time in the “trusting phase” in order to get to know your mentor.

Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC®.

Doug shows organizations how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding improving the bottom line (organizations).

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book set to publish in 2019.

Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.

To contact Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence

Over the course of the last 12 months or so I have been working on taking my calling – “the gift of mentoring” to a higher level. I wanted to create that deeper, richer mentoring experience for those that I touched through mentoring. I wanted to share that gift globally and invite others to join me on this exciting journey.

I partnered with the International Mentoring Community and together we have created the Certification of Achievement – Mentoring and the Certification of Competence – Mentor.  I recently completed both programs and I am pleased to announce that I have received my Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring (June 2018) and my Certificate of Competence – Mentor (December 2018). I am now Certified Competent as a Mentor following the competence verification process within the Mentor Certification Process.

The Mentor Certification Process is framed by “68 Action_Outcome Statements.” These statements highlight a series of actions and outcomes used to confirm competence of a mentor and/or guide development-implementation-evaluation of a workplace mentoring program.

These Action_Outcome Statements were written after an extensive review by the International Mentoring Community. This review was completed within the parameters of ISO Regulation 17001.

My journey continues to evolve as I work with so many marvelous people to help them grow on a personal and professional basis. I am honored to bring mentoring to organizations and to work with their employees to help them become more productive and engaged in their organization.

I am here to be of service whether in the capacity as a mentor one on one, implementing workplace mentoring, providing our new mentoring vs termination service or providing insight and guidance regarding the certification process to people and organizations.

TalentC is wholeheartedly involved in the International Mentoring Community, which sets the standards and verification system (Certification) to produce competent mentors.

What is the International Mentoring Community?

Before jumping into what the International Mentoring Community is, we must first define what each term means separately. We do this because “mentoring” has been thrown around to mean different things when its true meaning is as follows:

Mentoring is defined as a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee learn and grow together on a personal and professional basis as the mentee draws appropriate ideas and insights, and tools and techniques from the lived experience of the mentor.

Community is defined as a group of people having a particular characteristic in common. A community helps prepare people for challenges that lie ahead. There is a feeling of fellowship as a result of common attitudes, interests, and goals.

The International Mentoring Community is the premier mentor community to learn about the advantages and benefits of mentorship, mentoring, serving as a mentor, and becoming a mentee. It offers resources and tools to identify the ROI to support the implementation of a customized workplace mentoring program. Of particular importance in the fast paced work places of today, mentoring is a way to reduce employee turnover costs association with termination and resignation.

The International Mentoring Community offers certification about mentorship concepts, experiences, and the practices of serving as a mentor.

What is the Mentor Certification Process?

The Mentor Certification Process provides mentors and mentees with a deeper, richer experience.

The Mentor Certification Process is framed by “68 Action_Outcome Statements.” These statements highlight a series of actions and outcomes used to confirm competence of a mentor and/or implementation-evaluation of a workplace mentoring program.

These Action_Outcome Statements were written after an extensive review by the International Mentoring Community. This review was completed within the parameters of ISO Regulation 17001.

The 68 Action_Outcome Statements are split into 7 Mentor Certification Modules and identifies:

1. About Mentor
2. Mentor Characteristics
3. Mentoring Arrangement
4. Support Mentee
5. Mentoring Tools and Techniques
6. Mentoring Education and Learning
7. Certification

The International Mentoring Community guides:

• Organizational managers and leaders to create a mentoring blueprint from which they become more effective and relevant in their managing and leading while producing competent mentees at a faster rate.
• Mentors whatever their position will encounter a deeper, richer personal and professional experience that informs how they will engage and recognize their mentees.
• Mentees to access practical action and outcome suggestions based on the lived experience of their mentors.
• Business to co-create situational-based learning environments whereby the mentor-mentee are learning together that result in higher engagement and a lower turnover rate.

The International Mentoring Community offers managers, leaders and employees access to the Mentor Certification Process, which creates a movement that follows the Mentoring Blueprint: Guides you to manage a mentoring platform, programs, and movement, inform Move-Forward actions for mentors and mentees, nurture collaborative conversations among those involved, improve application of organizational knowledge shared by mentors and mentees, strengthen organizational productivity through actions taken by mentors and mentees.

Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC®.

Doug shows organizations how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding impacting the bottom line (organizations).

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book is set to publish in 2019.

Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.

To contact Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence