I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here is a question I received recently and my response.

Will a bully make a good corporate leader?

No.

We don’t need or want a bully at the helm of the organization. What happens when this occurs is that the good employees will leave because they can. I have seen this in a number of situations where a leader or leaders were bullying. Bullying is a way to mask insecurity and it can lead to Mental Health issues for the victims of bullying. Mental Health issues when not addressed properly in an organization can result in increased sick time and lost productivity. More importantly it can also cause pain and suffer for someone that does not need to experience pain and suffering.

Bullying is not good for the organization, their clients and their employees. It is not a leadership trait - never has been and never will be.

I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here is a question I received recently and my response.

Q: Does every successful person have a mentor in their life, or are some just self-taught?

A: Everyone can benefit from an effective mentor. Here are some excerpts from various research that you should be aware of:

1. 70 percent of mentored businesses survive more than five years, double the rate for non-mentored small businesses over that same period.
2. The same study, conducted by UPS, showed that 88 percent of business owners say having a mentor to lean on is "invaluable."
3. While more than 75% of professional men and women want to have a mentor, only 37% have one.

An effective mentor will facilitate an environment where you will learn and grow personally and professionally. Out of that will come some elements of self-taught as you discover different approaches and philosophies to you day to day challenges. My suggestion/recommendation is to find that effective mentor that will walk beside you on your journey.

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Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC®.

Doug leads organizations to experience the benefits how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding improving the bottom line (organizations).

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug’s Practice of Mentoring has resulted in his accumulation of 1,950 hours of mentoring (in person and virtual), 200 hours of speaking opportunities and 672 hours teaching others how to effectively mentor.

Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).

Doug is a volunteer mentor with the Sir Richard Branson Entrepreneur Program in the Caribbean and with the American Corporate Partners in the United States working with military personnel in their transition from military life to civilian life.

Doug is currently working with researchers to examine the role of mentoring as a support for those struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His experience in law enforcement coupled with working with people suffering from PTSD has afforded him a unique view of mentoring and PTSD.

Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book set to publish in 2020.

Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.

Contact Doug directly to discover how mentoring can improve your organization.

>>  https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence

“Dear Mentor, Something is Changing…!” by Yvonne Thevenot, ICM-P, ACM-F, CCMP

Job eliminated?  Tapped for an executive appointment?  Applying for your first role?  Applying for your next role?  Declined for a role?  Starting a new role?.....  The list goes on.  As we consider these critical career moments it is almost guaranteed that if you have experienced any of these, you will recall the role of the people who helped you think through your journey, helped you stay positive and focused despite the ambiguity, and who absolutely believed in you every step of the way.  There is a strong likelihood that the people you are thinking of, are your mentors.

“How could they possibly have been my mentor?  They never once told me what I should do!”

A common myth of mentoring is that the mentor provides the answers.  The mentor somehow knows the right path for the mentee and instructs them along their journey.  The mentee, grateful for the mentor’s wisdom follows the path, and somehow magically all turns out just right.  Magical, mythical, and…not true.  A mentor in fact will guide their mentee through questions, and with thoughtful listening, support and encouragement, will help the mentee uncover the answers for themselves, framed in their goals, their values, and their personal commitment to themselves.

So why then a mentor in a time of change?

In “Employee’s Survival Guide to Change” by Jeffrey M. Hiatt, he asks the employee to ask themselves the question “what does this change mean to me?”  The power of engaging a mentor in times of change truly stems the power and simplicity of this question.  While of course someone can ask themselves this question, imagine how even more powerful this question will be coming from the voice of your mentor.  And through reflecting your thoughts back to you, allowing you to consider this question even more deeply.

1. What does this change mean to you?
2. What do you love about what this change holds in store?
3. What has you worried, or concerned?
4. How have you helped yourself explore the alternatives?
5. If you chose not to make this change, then what?

Broad-based organizational change often impacts multiple levels of the organization at the same time.  What that means then, is that just around the time that you might want to talk to your manager about the impact of a change, they are experiencing all the anxiety, ambiguity and complexity of change themselves.  A manager may have a vested personal interest in your change that may be challenging to set aside to have a mentoring discussion centered on strictly your goals.

So, if you find yourself in the middle of a change, feeling anxious, unfocused and conflicted, this is no doubt the perfect time to reach out to your mentor.  And when you do, keep these tips in mind:

1. Your mentor will guide you, ask you questions and help you think, but cannot possibly know what is “best” for you.
2. You will feel emotional: hopeful, angry, sad, excited, conflicted.  Notice and accept those emotions as expected, human, and welcome – take some deep breaths, and allow yourself to transition to a space of clarity of thought and a plan for next steps.
3. It’s ok to change your mind. As more information is available, as you transition through the change, you can fully expect your first impression or bias changes as well.  That would be reflected in your views even on as simple a question as “what does this change mean to you?”
4. Accept that information will be incomplete and do not spend “mental calories” trying to solve the unsolvable. Life is full of decisions that we make with incomplete information, accept that this might be another on that list.
5. And if you don’t have a mentor to reach out to – make the most of a journal to pose some questions for yourself and then in a thoughtful and mindful way, respond with all the honesty and candor to yourself that a mentor would demand of you.

And mentors, some tips for you:

1. Resist the urge to “tell”: be extra diligent about jotting questions down in advance and prepare your mind to listen deeply to what is being said…and not said!
2. Accept that your mentee may be emotional:  mentally prepare for this and have a plan of how you will stay in the moment, and respond.
3. Be prepared for “I don’t know” and understand that may in fact be true: your mentee simply may NOT know at that moment.  Your role is to scratch at that with the next set of probing questions such as “what additional information would be helpful?….”have you tried writing down the pros and cons”… “have you been in this position before and how did you move through it then”….
4. Support the dialogue with pro-activity: an off-cycle check-in may be just the friendly reach-out that your mentee needed…but didn’t know how to ask for.
5. Be prepared to have unfinished business: sometimes as your mentee “crosses over” into a more contented and focused state they may not even realize that you helped them get there, and you may simply stop hearing from them or being updated as they move onto the business of their future.  Understand your role on the path has been of value, and knowing that life always has more change to offer, they will no doubt be back.

Best wishes, and Happy Mentoring!

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Yvonne Thevenot – Business Effectiveness, Change Management and Performance Excellence

 Yvonne Thevenot is role model, coach, mentor and relentless advocate when it comes to business effectiveness, change management and performance excellence.  Her consulting practice draws on extensive first-hand experience in change management as a sponsor of change, business lead and change manager at both strategic and tactical levels.  With degrees from the University of Manitoba and Dalhousie University, her passion for learning contributes to professional designations as a Professional Agrologist, a Certified Financial Planner, a certified mentor and an accredited change manager from two different global organizations.  Her mentoring practice extends to a wide range of professionals in corporate, privately held, and not-for-profit businesses, in a variety of sectors, and with mentees at all stages of career.

I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.

 Q: Is a mentor crucial to success?

A: Mentoring focuses on personal and professional growth and we can have success in both of those areas. Anytime that you can have someone walk beside you as you continue your growth personally and professionally it is a good idea - in fact highly recommended.

When I look back over my career and where I am today I would not have achieved the success that I have had without the benefit of numerous mentors. These mentors have helped me grow on a personal and professional basis.

The short answer to your question is, “can you afford not to?”

Q: Who is an unlikely mentor and why?

A: Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee will learn and grow together personally and professionally. It is all about building a trusted relationship and for the mentor to be able to create that safe environment for the relationship to nurture and grow.

To specifically answer your question an unlikely mentor for me would be someone that I could not make a connection with - that there was no chemistry with. I may realize part way into the mentoring relationship that this person cannot provide me with what I am looking for. It would be time to end that relationship and look for someone that can provide me with what I want.

What I am finding with all the mentoring that I am doing - paid and free is that the ability to listen is crucial. Someone that is not a good listener would not be a good mentor for me. Sometimes all we need is to talk our way through the problems that we are dealing with.

Q: If you were to pay someone for business coaching and mentorship, what would you look for?

A: I would be wanting to make sure that there was some form of chemistry between us. I would want them to be comfortable with addressing personal and professional growth. There are some business mentors that are not comfortable with the personal growth challenges. I have good examples of where the relationship went sour because they were not able to build a trusting relationship and unable to connect with the soft skills.

Ideally I would want someone that had some form of training. I recently was certified competent as a mentor and I see the value in that for me and how I mentor and it also has an impact for my mentees.

I would want my mentor to validate regularly that they are bringing value especially when I am paying for the service.

There are lot more variables that can come into play when selecting a mentor based on your criteria. These are some that I get most perspective mentees to consider before entering into an agreement for services.

Q: Can mentoring be a hindrance rather than a help to staff progression?

A: Mentoring if done correctly with a person who is committed to the journey would be more of a help rather than a hindrance.

What gets missed in the professional development via mentoring is the personal aspect. I always focus on the personal growth first in order to remove any obstacles or barriers that may be a hindrance to professional development.

Proper training for mentors in the mentoring process is key to all of this.

Q: What do the best Mentors do?

A: Best Mentors or extraordinary mentors want to be of service. They work with people to guide them on their journey to personal and professional growth. Extraordinary Mentors learn and grow along with the people they serve. There isn’t a time when I haven’t learned something from a mentoring session. Extraordinary Mentors are caring, humble and always put the people they serve first.

A great leader is a great mentor and a great mentor is a great leader.

Q: Do you have any mentors? Who are they?

A: I have a number of mentors. I have a mentor that provides me with business advice and guidance, someone that fulfills my need for relationships, someone who can advise me on technology but is also a good friend, someone that can advise me on marketing. This is just a sample of the marvelous people that I have been able to surround myself with.

In the majority of the relationships it is mutual growth on a personal and professional basis. We set expectations for our mentoring relationship and then begin the journey together. We check in every so often to make sure that each of us is getting value from our time together.

We all need to embrace the “Gift of Mentoring” and experience a deeper, richer mentoring experience that will help us personally and professionally.

Q: How can we ask questions to our mentor?

A: To answer your question you need to think what am I searching an answer for? Is it something to do with your personal growth or something to do with your professional growth? I would be asking you what is it that you wish to accomplish that has now become a question that you do not have the answer for.

When you begin the mentoring relationship you need to outline the expectations of that relationship. One of the topics may be how do we communicate (ask questions) of each other in a respectful manner.

When I work with people there is lots of dialogue back and forth until we reach a point where I need to listen rather than talk. Sometimes that is to allow the person I am in a mentoring relationship with to ask questions and other times it is to just listen.

If you are unsure still please feel free to reach out to me and we can set up a time to discuss.

Q: What does a mentor want from you?

A: What I hope for is a person that is committed to the mentoring process. They are ready to grow personally and professionally and are willing to do the heavy lifting in the mentoring relationship. They will be accountable for the outcomes whatever they may be. They understand and accept that I am there to guide - not tell them what to do.

Q: Can you have a mentor that you have never met?

A: You most definitely can. When I look at the people I am working with in a mentor partnership the majority I had never met before. They were introduced to me through referral or via my website and then the scheduling of a time to chat. I have had some mentors that I had known before and they became my mentor as they were able to provide guidance in an area that I needed guidance.(technology, finance)

It is important to note that if you have not met before then take the time to build a solid mentoring partnership. I break a mentoring partnership down into three (3) categories. They are; trusting phase, learning and development phase and the maintenance phase. In this case I recommend some extra time in the “trusting phase” in order to get to know your mentor.

Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC®.

Doug shows organizations how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding improving the bottom line (organizations).

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book set to publish in 2019.

Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.

To contact Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence

Over the course of the last 12 months or so I have been working on taking my calling – “the gift of mentoring” to a higher level. I wanted to create that deeper, richer mentoring experience for those that I touched through mentoring. I wanted to share that gift globally and invite others to join me on this exciting journey.

I partnered with the International Mentoring Community and together we have created the Certification of Achievement – Mentoring and the Certification of Competence – Mentor.  I recently completed both programs and I am pleased to announce that I have received my Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring (June 2018) and my Certificate of Competence – Mentor (December 2018). I am now Certified Competent as a Mentor following the competence verification process within the Mentor Certification Process.

The Mentor Certification Process is framed by “68 Action_Outcome Statements.” These statements highlight a series of actions and outcomes used to confirm competence of a mentor and/or guide development-implementation-evaluation of a workplace mentoring program.

These Action_Outcome Statements were written after an extensive review by the International Mentoring Community. This review was completed within the parameters of ISO Regulation 17001.

My journey continues to evolve as I work with so many marvelous people to help them grow on a personal and professional basis. I am honored to bring mentoring to organizations and to work with their employees to help them become more productive and engaged in their organization.

I am here to be of service whether in the capacity as a mentor one on one, implementing workplace mentoring, providing our new mentoring vs termination service or providing insight and guidance regarding the certification process to people and organizations.

TalentC is wholeheartedly involved in the International Mentoring Community, which sets the standards and verification system (Certification) to produce competent mentors.

What is the International Mentoring Community?

Before jumping into what the International Mentoring Community is, we must first define what each term means separately. We do this because “mentoring” has been thrown around to mean different things when its true meaning is as follows:

Mentoring is defined as a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee learn and grow together on a personal and professional basis as the mentee draws appropriate ideas and insights, and tools and techniques from the lived experience of the mentor.

Community is defined as a group of people having a particular characteristic in common. A community helps prepare people for challenges that lie ahead. There is a feeling of fellowship as a result of common attitudes, interests, and goals.

The International Mentoring Community is the premier mentor community to learn about the advantages and benefits of mentorship, mentoring, serving as a mentor, and becoming a mentee. It offers resources and tools to identify the ROI to support the implementation of a customized workplace mentoring program. Of particular importance in the fast paced work places of today, mentoring is a way to reduce employee turnover costs association with termination and resignation.

The International Mentoring Community offers certification about mentorship concepts, experiences, and the practices of serving as a mentor.

What is the Mentor Certification Process?

The Mentor Certification Process provides mentors and mentees with a deeper, richer experience.

The Mentor Certification Process is framed by “68 Action_Outcome Statements.” These statements highlight a series of actions and outcomes used to confirm competence of a mentor and/or implementation-evaluation of a workplace mentoring program.

These Action_Outcome Statements were written after an extensive review by the International Mentoring Community. This review was completed within the parameters of ISO Regulation 17001.

The 68 Action_Outcome Statements are split into 7 Mentor Certification Modules and identifies:

1. About Mentor
2. Mentor Characteristics
3. Mentoring Arrangement
4. Support Mentee
5. Mentoring Tools and Techniques
6. Mentoring Education and Learning
7. Certification

The International Mentoring Community guides:

• Organizational managers and leaders to create a mentoring blueprint from which they become more effective and relevant in their managing and leading while producing competent mentees at a faster rate.
• Mentors whatever their position will encounter a deeper, richer personal and professional experience that informs how they will engage and recognize their mentees.
• Mentees to access practical action and outcome suggestions based on the lived experience of their mentors.
• Business to co-create situational-based learning environments whereby the mentor-mentee are learning together that result in higher engagement and a lower turnover rate.

The International Mentoring Community offers managers, leaders and employees access to the Mentor Certification Process, which creates a movement that follows the Mentoring Blueprint: Guides you to manage a mentoring platform, programs, and movement, inform Move-Forward actions for mentors and mentees, nurture collaborative conversations among those involved, improve application of organizational knowledge shared by mentors and mentees, strengthen organizational productivity through actions taken by mentors and mentees.

Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC®.

Doug shows organizations how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding impacting the bottom line (organizations).

Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).

Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book is set to publish in 2019.

Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.

To contact Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence