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I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here is a question I received recently and my response.
Will a bully make a good corporate leader?
No.
We don’t need or want a bully at the helm of the organization. What happens when this occurs is that the good employees will leave because they can. I have seen this in a number of situations where a leader or leaders were bullying. Bullying is a way to mask insecurity and it can lead to Mental Health issues for the victims of bullying. Mental Health issues when not addressed properly in an organization can result in increased sick time and lost productivity. More importantly it can also cause pain and suffer for someone that does not need to experience pain and suffering.
Bullying is not good for the organization, their clients and their employees. It is not a leadership trait - never has been and never will be.
| Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC® and the co-founder of the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug Lawrence leads organizations to experience how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee on-boarding improving the bottom line (organizations). Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC). Doug’s Practice of Mentoring has resulted in his accumulation of 1,970 hours of mentoring (in person and virtual), 197 hours of speaking opportunities and 672 hours teaching others how to effectively mentor. Doug is a volunteer mentor with the Sir Richard Branson Entrepreneur Program in the Caribbean and with the American Corporate Partners in the United States working with military personnel in their transition from military life to civilian life. Doug is currently working with researchers to examine the role of mentoring as a support for those struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His experience in law enforcement coupled with working with people suffering from PTSD has afforded him a unique view of mentoring and PTSD. Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book set to publish in 2020. Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally. Contact Doug directly to discover how mentoring can improve your organization.
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I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here is a question I received recently and my response.
What are the four main stages of mentoring?
There are a number of different viewpoints on this topic with responses ranging from 3 to as many as 10 stages in the mentoring relationship.
I have broken it down into three.
Trusting phase: This is during the very early stages of the mentoring relationship where expectations of each participant are discussed and defined. This is where it is very important that trust be developed between the two participants. Building a trusted relationship will provide the foundation to move forward with your mentoring relationship. It is important for the mentor to be whole as a person. This may take only a few sessions or it may take a while to develop the level of trust needed to move forward.
Learning and Development phase: This is where you will spend a large part of your time as a mentor/mentee. This is where the “heavy lifting” takes place in the mentoring relationship. You will explore personal growth challenges as well as professional (career related) challenges. You may encounter challenges such as self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence. I call these the “self-challenges”. This phase can go on for a long period of time.
Maintenance phase: You may reach a time where the mentor and mentee decide that you have addressed the majority of the challenges and that you feel you no longer need to meet on a regular basis. With the Maintenance phase you can agree to meet less frequently or not at all. What I do recommend is for mentors to check in every so often to see how things are going. I periodically check in either via email or in person depending on the location of my mentee. If things are going well we can stay in the Maintenance phase and if they are not then we can transition back to the Learning and Development phase.
Looking at the stages/phases in this manner keeps the mentoring process less complicated.
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Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC® and co-founder of the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug leads organizations to experience the benefits how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding improving the bottom line (organizations).
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug’s Practice of Mentoring has resulted in his accumulation of 1,950 hours of mentoring (in person and virtual), 200 hours of speaking opportunities and 672 hours teaching others how to effectively mentor.
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
Doug is a volunteer mentor with the Sir Richard Branson Entrepreneur Program in the Caribbean and with the American Corporate Partners in the United States working with military personnel in their transition from military life to civilian life.
Doug is currently working with researchers to examine the role of mentoring as a support for those struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His experience in law enforcement coupled with working with people suffering from PTSD has afforded him a unique view of mentoring and PTSD.
Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book set to publish in 2020.
Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.
Contact Doug directly to discover how mentoring can improve your organization.
>> https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here is a question I received recently and my response.
Q: Does every successful person have a mentor in their life, or are some just self-taught?
A: Everyone can benefit from an effective mentor. Here are some excerpts from various research that you should be aware of:
An effective mentor will facilitate an environment where you will learn and grow personally and professionally. Out of that will come some elements of self-taught as you discover different approaches and philosophies to you day to day challenges. My suggestion/recommendation is to find that effective mentor that will walk beside you on your journey.
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Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC®.
Doug leads organizations to experience the benefits how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding improving the bottom line (organizations).
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug’s Practice of Mentoring has resulted in his accumulation of 1,950 hours of mentoring (in person and virtual), 200 hours of speaking opportunities and 672 hours teaching others how to effectively mentor.
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
Doug is a volunteer mentor with the Sir Richard Branson Entrepreneur Program in the Caribbean and with the American Corporate Partners in the United States working with military personnel in their transition from military life to civilian life.
Doug is currently working with researchers to examine the role of mentoring as a support for those struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His experience in law enforcement coupled with working with people suffering from PTSD has afforded him a unique view of mentoring and PTSD.
Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published “The Gift of Mentoring” in 2014 with his second book set to publish in 2020.
Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.
Contact Doug directly to discover how mentoring can improve your organization.
>> https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.
Q: Is it possible to fix a toxic work environment without changing the company's leadership?
A: If the toxicity is evident in the company's leadership it is difficult to completely change the culture and eradicate the toxicity. You can give the employees the tools that they need to work within that culture but at the end of the day it is still a toxic work environment.
Think of this as learned behavior - in that if the behavior is not changed then people (employees) begin to think that it is acceptable. The toxin will continue to spread and the outcome is that the good employees will leave because they can.
In the culture assessment work that I do I see this often.
Q: What is the best way to reconnect with a mentor?
A: That depends on how long it has been since you last met. If it has been a while then you would need to define the terms of the relationship again and revisit the building of trust. If it has recently happened then you may not need to re-establish the trust as it will already be there.
If your question is more on logistics - depending on the nature of your past relationship and reason for disconnect you may be able to just reach out.
I always leave a mentoring engagement with the comment that they can reach out to me at any time after we have formally ended the relationship. For me the door is never closed and we can always reconnect when the need arises.
Q: Do you feel a counselor could also be one's mentor? Are they sort of one in the same?
A: Interesting timing for this question. I am doing some research on mentoring and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and how a mentor can be a resource for support. I always come back to the definition of mentoring - a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and mentee learn and grow personally and professionally. Where the mentor encounters situations that should be dealt with by a trained professional then they have the ethical obligation to help the person find the right resources to address their situation. The mentor still owns the relationship and is encouraged to stand beside their mentee no matter what.
There are some elements of counseling that take place in a mentoring relationship. The mentor needs to make sure that they do not mentor beyond their capability. Trained mentors are essential if we are dealing with something that may need to be referred to a professional counselor.
Be mindful of any conflicts of interest in this situation. I also encourage you to do some research on the hierarchy of mentoring - mentor, great mentor, extraordinary mentor. As you work your way up the pyramid your ability to address situations like this become more prevalent.
Q: What is business coaching and mentoring?
A: There are a number of definitions that are out there. I have found that this one works the best. If you apply all that is stated below in a business context you should have the answer to your question.
Mentoring: Ongoing relationship that can last for a long period of time
Coaching: Relationship generally has a set duration
Mentoring: Can be more informal and meetings can take place as and when the mentee needs some advice, guidance or support
Coaching: Generally more structured in nature and meetings are scheduled on a regular basis
Mentoring: More long-term and takes a broader view of the person
Coaching: Short-term (sometimes time-bounded) and focused on specific development areas/issues
Mentoring: Mentor is usually more experienced and qualified than the ‘mentee'. May be a senior person in the organization who can pass on knowledge, experience and open doors to otherwise out-of-reach opportunities using techniques such as the Socratic Method and story-telling. Industry specific knowledge is a nice to have not a need to have.
Coaching is generally not performed on the basis that the coach needs to have direct experience of their client's formal occupational role, unless the coaching is specific and skills-focused
Mentoring: Focus is on career and personal development
Coaching: Focus is generally on development/issues at work
Mentoring: Agenda is set by the mentee, with the mentor providing support and guidance to prepare them for future roles
Coaching: The agenda is focused on achieving specific, immediate goals
Mentoring revolves more around developing the mentee on a personal and professional basis. The mentor will also learn and grow in the relationship.
Coaching revolves more around specific development areas/issues
Q: What are the benefits of a mentoring program in the workplace?
A: The research shows that mentees receive career and psychosocial benefits from formal mentoring. Career-related benefits include an increase in job performance ratings which lead
to salary increases and promotion, and improved competence in the job. The psychosocial benefits, or mentor-mentee interpersonal support, include friendship, emotional support, satisfaction and personal development (Kram, 1985). Mentoring has been found to positively impact career success, through more promotions, more mobility, higher income and career satisfaction (Chao, Walz & Gardner, 1992).
For mentors, research has shown increases in personal satisfaction and job satisfaction. In addition, mentors receive assistance from their mentees on projects and also enhance their own skills by learning from the mentee. The relationship can help a mentor learn new perspectives about the organization (Murray, 2006). One study (Gentry, et. al., 2008) found that mentoring helps the mentor gain support through mentee networks that supply critical information that assist the mentor in some way when needed. This research implies that a reciprocal relationship can be created between mentor and mentee where both learn and educate the other.
For organizations, the benefits of mentoring include retention, promotion, productivity and personal and professional development. With these benefits, organizations with formal mentoring programs create a learning environment that fosters personal and professional growth for mentors and mentees. In turn, this accelerates the processes for identifying, developing and retaining quality talent (Kahle-Piasecki, 2011).
The benefit of mentoring extends to the company culture if it is well integrated and does not utilize it as a one-time intervention. This means that, for example, mentoring relationships can create an integrated learning and development culture with increased communication, collaboration, and support between all employees in an organization, resulting in a more informal matching system between mentors and mentees (Burr et al., 2011). In fact, research shows that matching based on mentor-mentee similarities (e.g. personality, interests) leads to more positive psychosocial outcomes, such as interpersonal satisfaction, compared to formal assignments (Kendall, 2007).
Today, organizations are combating negative trends such as disengaged employees, lack of succession planning, and talent shortages. As the research shows, organizations cannot afford not to fully develop their human resources. If they're unsure how to develop their HR then they should get hr consultancy to help guide them. The return on their investment is seen in employee productivity and optimum organizational functioning that positively affects their bottom line. Therefore, it is essential for mentoring programs--or any training and development programs--to be evaluated both in terms of successful functioning and return on investment.
Q: Can unjustifiably high expectations from a mentor block your success?
A: First off the mentor's role is to guide and encourage not to set expectations for you. This question almost sounds like your mentor is focused on career development and is not taking into account your personal growth. When we focus solely on the career development piece we are not addressing the barriers/obstacles that may arise from personal growth challenges.
I always start with some level of exploration regarding my mentee's personal growth challenges whether it be self-esteem, self-confidence, etc. Addressing those first can pave the path to a better career development journey.
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Doug Lawrence is the founder of TalentC®.
Doug leads organizations to experience the benefits how mentoring will encourage workforce culture to flow in harmony (mentors), improve productivity from employees (mentees), reducing costly employee onboarding improving the bottom line (organizations).
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug's Practice of Mentoring has resulted in his accumulation of 1,904 hours of mentoring (in person and virtual), 197 hours of speaking opportunities and 672 hours teaching others how to effectively mentor.
Doug is recognized as a "Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
Doug is a volunteer mentor with the Sir Richard Branson Entrepreneur Program in the Caribbean and with the American Corporate Partners in the United States working with military personnel in their transition from military life to civilian life.
Doug is currently working with researchers to examine the role of mentoring as a support for those struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His experience in law enforcement coupled with working with people suffering from PTSD has afforded him a unique view of mentoring and PTSD.
Doug is an international speaker and author about all facets of Mentoring. He published "The Gift of Mentoring" in 2014 with his second book set to publish in 2020.
Doug works with organizations to establish mentoring programs, influence mentoring as a culture, and provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals of all backgrounds and levels globally.
Contact Doug directly to discover how mentoring can improve your organization.
>> https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.
Q: Have you ever mentored students on research projects remotely?
A: The short answer is yes.
The mentoring process that I use is premised on the definition of mentoring - a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and mentee learn and grow on a personal and professional level.
Virtually mentoring does require a different skill set when it comes to mentoring but it can be just as effective if done correctly.
Q: What is an example of executive mentoring?
A: Executive mentoring typically can take place at senior levels within the organization. I work with Presidents, Vice Presidents, Directors, etc and the process that I use is much the same. The mentoring experience however is customized/tailored to the specific needs of the person requesting the mentoring.
There is a focus on their personal growth as well as professional growth. I spend a fair amount of time discussing the topic of communication and the importance of effectively communicating.
If you would like to learn more please reach out to me and we can explore this further.
Q: How important is reverse mentor ship in corporate life?
A: I prefer to not use the term reverse mentoring. The definition of reverse is to go backwards. I prefer to call it effective mentoring as it is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee are going to learn and grow on a personal and professional basis. Nothing reverse about that.
Effective mentoring is a strategic objective that all organizations need to embrace as part of their short and long term strategic plan. I have worked with organizations that have done just that and it has helped shape the culture in a positive way. It has assisted in the retaining of quality employees and reduced employee turnover. It has created an organization where people want to work because of the culture powered by effective mentoring.
Q: Is it possible to find an architect (mentor) online who will provide guidance?
A: If you do a search via Google you will generate 20M plus hits on the phrase “architect mentoring program”. Check out a few of these as some on the first page are architect associations that have a mentoring program. Some of those programs may have a virtual component to them. I am involved with an IT Association that does virtual mentoring and it works well.
Q: Architects told me to find a mentor to learn from him/her, so should I pay to a mentor or is it free?
A: If it is done via a mentor program through an association chances are that it would be free.
Some mentors will offer to mentor as their way of giving back to the profession.
Some mentors will charge for their services similar to what business coaches do.
Make sure you check out your proposed mentor as far as mentoring experience and training is concerned. They should be good at building trusted relationships, communicating effectively which would also include the ability to use storytelling to share lived experiences.
Ultimately the decision to pay for mentoring services vs getting it for free is your decision and will be guided by my comments above.
Q: How does leadership and management overlap?
A: Management: “the process of dealing with or controlling things or people.”
Leadership: “the action of leading a group of people or an organization.”
The overlap exists that both are dealing with people. How they actually deal with people is another thing. Organizations that are struggling are more than likely managing their people. Organizations that are flourishing are more than likely leading - guiding, motivating, etc.
Q: Why is it frowned upon (or is it?) to question the leader of an organization’s decisions?
A: It is all about communication and how you ask the questions regarding the leader’s decisions. If you can frame what you have to say in the form of a question and use the words “we and us” more often the results will be much better and different.
Pick and choose the place that you ask the questions as outright challenging someone and/or their decision in the presence of a number of people is not always the best path to take. Frame this in the context of a learning opportunity and ask questions accordingly.
Q: What does it mean if a smart, hardworking new hire is struggling?
A: There may be some external influences that are impacting the new hire from performing at the level that you expect.
This is a great place to have them work with a trained mentor. Having them work with an external mentor is recommended in order to maintain a level of confidentiality that is required. The trained mentor will explore the personal and professional challenges with the new hire.
The experiences that I have had with similar situations have turned out positive for the betterment of the new hire and the organization.
Q: What are the 5 best tips to reduce employee stress as a leader?
A: I would make sure that employees had the tools to manage stress and not allow it to manage them. Stress is manageable if you have the tools.
I would create a positive work environment with a culture of happiness and learning.
I would ensure that employees are engaged and empowered in the work place.
I would develop relationships with each employee to let them know that they are important and the organization will succeed if they succeed.
I would communicate regularly and would make sure that they understood how their role played a part in the organization achieving its goals and objectives.
Q: How can I grow as the leader of our group?
A: I would look for a mentor that can work with you on your journey as a leader.
A trained mentor will guide and support you and challenge you to think. Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee learn and grow together on a personal and professional basis.
Choose your mentor wisely and embrace the power of effective mentoring.
Q: As a manager, how did you break up a verbal argument between coworkers?
A: This is a great place to use group mentoring techniques. I have done this with work groups that did not get along and with employees within the same work group and on an individual basis. One of the most important things is that you need to facilitate the dialogue and guide them where they need to go. I like to use effective communication techniques to get the conversation going and to provide them with those tools. You need to figure out the root cause for the behavior and then address that.
Q: What are some game-changing leadership capabilities?
A:
Q: Why do you need a mentor in business?
A: A mentor is someone that can walk beside you on your business journey. I have a number of mentors - each bringing something special to the mentoring relationship. My mentor(s) are there when I need to talk my way through challenges or perhaps a change in direction. My mentor(s) are there to guide me not tell me what to do.
I think of all the people that I am working with today that are either entrepreneurs or working in the corporate space and I would like to think that the question they would ask you is, “can you afford not to have a mentor”.
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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC® and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.
Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.
Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve? Schedule a time to meet with Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.
Q: What are some good ways for a small business entrepreneur to find a mentor? I am currently in the process of expanding my handmade business into wholesale.
A: Check to see if there are any incubators that work with small business entrepreneurs and if they provide mentoring as part of their service. Some include mentoring in their fee structure and some have it as an add on. I have also seen some cases where it is mandatory that mentoring be used.
You can also do some searches via Google to see if there are any associations that provide mentoring. I have seen some of the mentor software programs that have created a mentoring community and a data base of people wanting to mentor.
Make sure that you choose wisely when selecting a mentor. Ideally your mentor should have some form of training in order for you to get the biggest ROI for mentoring.
They don’t have to be from your industry - it is a nice to have but not a need to have. I am mentoring a number of different people and they are from industries that I do not have any experience in.
Q: If one of the top career mistakes is staying in a job too long, how do you know when it's best to find a new job?
A: One tell-tale sign is that it becomes a chore to get out of bed in the morning and go to work. You have become very negative about all thins - including your personal life. You bring home the negativity to an environment that is typically very positive. I have also seen where your productivity and quality of your work begins to decline to the point of you becoming toxic. When I am working with people in a mentoring relationship we touch on these elements and more especially when I sense that we have reached that crossroads. If the culture of the organization is not in alignment with your values it may well be time to move on.
Q: What can women do to have better representation within management and board level positions?
A: An interesting question and timely as I am doing research on this very topic and also exploring male vs female mentors - is there a difference, etc?
What I have seen is that mentoring can assist in providing tools that women need to move forward and assume roles in management or at the board table. Typically a women that is in that position has a male mentor or attempts to acquire a male mentor. There are some male mentors that are reluctant to mentor a women. Research is using the #metoo movement as a reason.
What I have done with one of my female mentees is to recommend having a male mentor and a female mentor - especially someone that has been on the journey to advance in leadership roles and acquire a board table seat.
Bottom line is that mentoring does help - you can leverage the full power of mentoring with a male and female mentoring team.
Q: Who is more effective, a Positive Leader or a Negative Leader?
A: A positive leader would be more effective. Ask yourself who you would rather work with - someone that is positive or someone that is negative. Think of the impact that a leader has on the culture of the organization. Would you want that to be positive or would you want that to be negative.
One thing to remember is that if you are working with a negative leader you need to observe the characteristics that you do not want. It was suggested to me a long time ago that, “you will work with many bosses over the course of your career. Learn to pick the good characteristics - characteristics that you want to emulate and keep those. Learn to recognize the characteristics that you do not want and cast them aside.”
Whether the situation is driven by positivity or negativity there is always something to learn.
Q: Are all 'soft skills' just interpersonal skills? If so, why don't people just call them that?
A: I think the term “soft skills” is one that is over used and with us not fully understanding what it means.
I am more inclined to use the term “essential skills”. I work with leaders and managers at all levels of organizations and what typically needs addressing are their essential skills. Technically they may be very strong but when it comes to working with others, communicating effectively, motivating and inspiring there is always room for improvement.
One thing I have noticed is that we have lost the art of communicating effectively. As a result there is more organizational turmoil and it is typically attributed to the lack of communicating effectively.
Q: If so much material is written about leadership, why are there so few real leaders in companies?
A: There is a global leadership talent shortage today. Check out the article on this site for more information: Are You Ready for the Leadership Shortage?
61% of the companies surveyed do not offer any leadership training - so we are setting people up to fail. What is also critical is to provide mentoring as part of the leadership development program. Sadly this is a process that can and will make a difference but it has to be implemented. Mentors need to be training. The organization from the top down has to recognize that leadership development is a priority.
Provide people with the tools to be successful - don’t set them up for failure. Don’t miss out on opportunities because you have not provided the training and mentoring for your leaders.
Q: Is it normal to only want mentors as my only circle of friends?
A: What this signals to me is that you have challenges with trust. A great mentor focuses on building a trusted relationship which explains you only wanting mentors in your inner circle/circle of friends. Your mentor(s) are filling a void.
Talk with your current mentor(s) to have them work with you to step outside that comfort zone and to build more relationships outside of your mentor(s). Focus on how to build trust and how to receive it from someone else.
The lack of trust will also have an impact on your professional life if it has not already done so. We need to address these personal growth challenges so that they do not become an obstacle to moving forward professionally.
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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.
Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (on-boarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.
Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve? Schedule a time to meet with Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.
Q: What kind of strategy should I look for in a mentor?
A: While each mentor is different they should all approach the mentoring arrangement/relationship using strong mentoring concepts and techniques.
Remember that mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and mentee learn and grow together. A good mentor will, 1) build a trusted relationship with you, 2) be willing to share something personal about themselves in order to build trust, 3) create a safe environment for your conversation, 4) communicate effectively with you and share that technique to help you grow, 5) ask for your feedback - “what value did you get from our time together today?”, 6) Ask a series of questions to guide you to the answers - DO NOT TELL you what to do, 7) help facilitate the growth of your critical thinking skills and ideally have a calming presence.
Q: How is 'effective management' possible through the delegation of authority?
A: Delegation of authority is part of “effective management”. You should be striving for a work force that is engaged, empowered and accountable and a step towards that direction is delegation of authority.
There will be an element of trust that comes into place with delegation of authority. It will also create an environment of learning opportunities.
There are not many organizations that can demonstrate today that they are practicing “effective management”. Effective communication is always what holds them back.
Q: How do you manage a team of employees if you are not as smart as they are?
A: I would look at this from a different perspective. I would suggest that your team of employees possess certain skill sets that you may not have and you in turn possess skill sets that they don’t have. You have created the beginning of your learning and development environment.
As a leader or manager it should never come down to who is smarter than the other. What matters is that you complement each other based on the skills that you bring to the table.
As the manager or leader you need to engage and empower your team and lead them to success. If they are successful then so will you be.
As a trained mentor when I hear a statement like this I immediately begin to think of self-esteem challenges and I know that is not the case here.
Value your employees for what each brings to the table. Provide them with your guidance and show them the path that lies ahead to success for all.
Q: How can you tell if a business coach/mentor is good? Are there red flags to look out for?
A: Define your expectations up front. What do you hope to get from the relationship? One of the things that I always do with people that I am working with is to ask the question, “what was the value that we got from the time we spent together today?” A mentoring relationship is all about value. What value can the participants bring to the relationship?
Some things to consider:
Q: What are the most important leadership skills for the future?
A: Effective communication is at the top of my list for leadership skills for the future. I work inside organizations from a mentoring capacity and I see the lack of being able to communicate effectively as the root cause for a lot of the challenges that they have. When we have provided employees with the tools they need to communicate effectively the difference is like night and day. Better communicators become better problem solvers. There are a lot of segments to consider when we talk about communicating effectively. Each is key to becoming that effective communicator.
Another skill set that is definitely needed for the future is the ability to build trusted relationships. Most managers, supervisors and leaders do not take the time to build those relationships. This can and will create a culture of disengagement.
It is okay to make a mistake. If we “FAIL” at something that is alright. FAIL is short for “first attempt in learning.” As supervisors, managers and leaders we need to encourage our employees to go beyond and that it is okay to make a mistake. Let’s determine the cause of the mistake, address it and move on.
Q: What are some tips to establish a solid foundation for good corporate culture in a young company?
A: There have been some very good responses to this question already.
I would offer some points from my lived experiences working as an external mentor in some organizations.
These are just a few things that I have observed that would assist in building a good work place culture. It can be a daunting task but the rewards are well worth the journey.
Q: How important is it to have a mentor for starting a start-up for the first time?
A: It is very important. A must have. There are number of incubators that have built in mentoring as a service that start-ups can obtain. Some offer it as part of their fee structure while others charge extra for that service and may make it mandatory.
I had an advisory board of mentors when I first started my company and it was something I could not imagine being without. Each of my mentors brought something different from their forte and lived experiences.
Q: How do I go about finding a mentor and how do you approach someone for mentorship (especially in places like NYC)?
A: I would ideally like a little more information in order to properly answer your question.
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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.
Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.
Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve? Schedule a time to meet with Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.
Q: How do you initiate a mentor-mentee relationship?
A: First off you need to find someone that could be a mentor for you. That may be from your current network or through some other sources such as a mentor software site that has a database of mentors. (www.mentorcity.com)
There are also some organizations that offer mentorship to people as part of their services that they provide. If you are an entrepreneur there are programs that have mentorship included. (www.futurepreneur.ca)
Once you have found a mentor then the next step is to set up a time to meet and define the terms of the relationship. Makes sure you both articulate your expectations so that it is clear what both parties hope to gain from the time spent together.
I usually have the first meeting and then recommend that we sleep on it. If I wake up in the morning feeling positive about the proposed relationship then I am ready to move forward. If I am not feeling good then I will work with you to find someone that you would be more compatible with.
Q: I'm a teacher and I love it, but I don't feel as if I'm a good teacher. What can I do to improve?
A: You could connect with a mentor as the first step. Your willingness to improve is the sign of a person who wants to continue to improve and continue to be of value to others.
My favorite quote is “when we stop learning, we stop leading” (Ken Blanchard). Don’ t view this as something negative but view this as an opportunity to learn and grow. Believe in yourself and the value that you bring to the classroom. As a teacher you are changing lives and you are doing that with passion. Continue your focus in that direction and believe in who you are.
Q: Can you provide an example of transformational leadership?
A: Steve Jobs – Steve Jobs has to mandatorily be one of the names in the most iconic transformational leaders the world has ever seen. His passion for perfection, simplicity and sophistication drove the company and he made sure that it got engraved into every employee who worked at Apple. He constantly challenged his employees to think beyond what has already been done and made them create products that the world did not even know it needed.
Q: Why don't more people get start-up mentoring? Research shows founders with mentors are far more successful.
A: I agree that having a mentor contributes to achieving success. It is possible that we do not have enough incubators that can provide mentoring as part of their service. It could also be that the cost of mentors through the incubator are too steep for someone in the early stages. There is also the issue of you sometimes get what you pay for. Sometimes we get a business coach when we actually wanted a mentor. If you are a start-up you need to do some homework to see if there are any incubators in your area. If not then I encourage you to reach out through this site to find someone. Take a look at www.levellingup.ca. This is a great organization that has a unique model for providing the services that it offers.
Q; Do you believe leadership is born talent?
A: I believe that some people are born leaders while others learn the skill over time. i also believe that you can be at different levels as a leader depending on your lived experiences and capacity to continuous learn.
Jim Collins and a couple of other leadership experts speak to the 5 levels of leadership. (Good to Great - Jim Collins).
The challenge that we have today is in the development of those highly sought after skills. There is a global leadership talent shortage that is not getting better but is getting worse. Leadership development needs to become a priority for organizations.
Q: How can a manager with an empowering style succeed in an organization with very little authority granted to employees and managers?
A: My first thought was that perhaps this is not the right organization for you if your style differs from that of the organization.
We always tell leaders that each employee that they work with is unique and that they have to tailor their leadership style to meet the needs of each employee. This creates the optimum organization and a positive culture.
What I teach employees that I work with through mentoring is the reverse of this concept. I get them to see each manager that they work with as being unique and how they communicate with that manager needs to be tailored to that particular person. Use of the Socratic Method of asking questions can be a valuable tool but it must be used correctly or it may make things worse.
My suggestion is that you would benefit from a trained mentor who will provide you with some tools to deal with the situation that you have outlined.
I have been working with a couple of people recently that have experienced exactly what you are talking about. I have provided them with the tools they need to increase their survival rate.
Q: What is involved in a mentor relationship? As the mentor and as the beneficiary.
A: First off we need to understand the definition of mentoring: Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where the mentor and mentee are both going to learn and grow on a personal and professional basis.
This is a bit of a paradigm shift in that the Traditional style of mentoring was always an older person mentoring a younger person with a focus on career development (professional growth). You could also add into the mix the idea of a younger person mentoring an older person - referred to as “reverse mentoring” which is a term I am not a huge fan of. Reverse means to go backwards - my mentoring relationships are not focused on going backwards!
The term effective mentoring fits quite nicely with the definition provided - a two way trust relationship where both parties learn and grow together.
There needs to be commitment on the part of the mentor and mentee. There needs to be accountability to each other. Expectations need to be set at the very beginning of the relationship. Personal growth challenges need to be addressed early if not first in the relationship (self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-doubt). There should be a comfort level in sharing something personal in order to build trust. If you can’t establish trust then the relationship will not be successful.
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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.
Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.
Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve? Schedule a time to meet with Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.
Q: Who are the best mentors for somebody who would like to lead a business managing money for investors?
A: A good mentor would be someone that has the knowledge and experience to actually be a good mentor. They would undoubtedly have had some form of training to better understand mentoring processes and concepts.
I am a firm believe that industry specific experience is a nice to have not a need to have. I mentor people in a number of different industries of which I do not have any specific experience. I do however know the questions to ask to get people thinking from a critical thinking perspective.
In this case, I would be searching for a great/extraordinary mentor who can call on industry specific colleagues to assist in the mentoring process.
Q: Why do you find it difficult to manage millennials?
A: I don’t find it difficult to manage millennials.
I caution against stereotyping based on “generations”.
All the people that I have worked with that you would refer to as “millennials” I have never had a difficult time in managing them. Perhaps that is why - I didn’t manage them. I mentored them and challenged them to critically think and observed their willingness to want to learn and grow. I respected what they brought to the table and I was able to learn from that.
Q: Are business mentors useless?
A: Some good advice has already been provided for you.
I can’t imagine the journey that I have been on without the guidance of a mentor(s). I am currently mentoring a number of people who have launched their own business. They have all stated very clearly that it is a journey that they would not want to take on their own.
If the notion that you have is that business mentors are useless then that would be the outcome that you will realize. Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship and requires commitment on the part of the mentor and mentee. All my research supports the value of having a mentor no matter what you want to do.
Q: Why should I spend money on acquiring a mentor's knowledge, when I could acquire that knowledge on my own?
A: There is a paradigm shift that has taken place where people are now paying for a good mentor. In my situation I provide a combination of free and paid. In my research I have found that paying for an extraordinary mentor is becoming a readily accepted business practice.
I believe that you have a decision to make on whether or not you feel that you will get value from mentoring. It sounds as though you have already decided that you have the knowledge or know where you can get it with the benefit of a mentor. A trained mentor will get you to explore different approaches based on their lived experiences and will present them to you via story-telling. Sometimes we don’t realize that we have the knowledge and it is through a mentor that we unlock the door to that knowledge and then together explore what we might do with that.
Q: Supervisors, managers, or people of in charge. What advice do you have for new supervisors?
A: On a personal note: For the new supervisor watch what other supervisors and managers are doing. You need to see what some of their best practices are and make that part of your tool kit. The behaviors that you observe that do not sit well with you should be cast aside.
On an Organization note: As part of the organization’s leadership development program a mentor should be assigned to any new supervisor or manager. I have seen where that has been done internally and externally and I have seen some better results when it has been an external mentor. It is sometimes easier to discuss things with someone that does not have any of your organization’s baggage. Assigning a mentor helps to set the new supervisor up for success versus failure.
Q: How does having a mentor help you?
A: I have had mentors for the majority of my personal and professional lives and would not be where I am today without my mentors.
Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and mentee will learn and grow on a personal and professional basis.
Define the expectations of the relationship at the very beginning. Build a trusted relationship as that is the foundation to success for any mentoring relationship/arrangement.
You will need to determine where you want to grow personally and professionally and then be open and flexible to the journey that lies ahead.
Q: My mom and I have never had a good relationship. She was absent and abusive during my childhood. As I got older I began craving "motherly love." What can I do to fix this? Do I need a mentor?
A: Interesting question. Some of the mentor programs that I have been involved in as an advisor to the program manager we have seen similar requests. The mentor fills a void that has been in existence from the mentee’s early childhood years. Whether it be a mother figure or a father figure the mentor is being leaned on to fill that void.
In a situation like this a mentor can become that mother figure that you are looking for. In the training that I provide to mentors I caution them on becoming too emotionally attached to their mentee. They need to define the terms of the relationship at the very beginning. My fear in some of these situations is that accountability for decisions can easily swing back to the mentor and that is not what we want to see take place. The biggest role that they can play is to listen. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to - someone that will listen and not pass judgement. A person that will guide us but not tell us what to do. They will help us develop our critical thinking skills.
Q: How can I earn money by online mentoring?
A: There is a difference between mentoring virtually and mentoring in person or face to face. Both require that you have a strong understanding of mentoring concepts and processes. You would also benefit from some form of mentor training. To go into this without that training would be a recipe for failure - both for you and the person that you are mentoring.
You would want to develop a level of credibility for the mentor services that you are going to offer. This comes with doing some mentoring at no cost.
When I first started my journey there was a lot of mentoring that was done at no cost. Once I had gained momentum I was then able to structure fees for my services. My fees have grown over the years but so has my investment in learning and in being certified competent as a mentor. I am working with a couple of organizations where I was asked if I had any formal training and certifications in order to secure their business.
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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education. Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.
Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve? Schedule a time to meet with Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence
I am asked on numerous occasions to respond to questions regarding mentoring, mentoring process and how mentoring can bring value to individuals and/or organizations. Here are some of those questions and my responses.
Q: After working with a client, as a life coach what is your next step if any, if they seem to be where they need to be after you've helped them change?
A: I can answer this from a mentoring approach.
If they seem to be where they need to be I would want to make sure that it was the client that reached that conclusion. I view the mentoring process as having three phases: 1) Trusting phase, 2) learning and development phase, and 3) maintenance phase. In the example you have given, I would be inclined to place them in the maintenance phase. We would still touch base periodically but it would not be as frequent as what we would be doing in the learning and development phase. We can always move the relationship back into the learning and development phase if the need arises.
Q: When and how did you discover what you wanted to do with your life?
A: I was always a person that wanted to assist others. I think that I finally realized what I wanted to do about 10 years ago. I launched my own company that is focused on mentoring and mentor certification which is something that I am extremely passionate about. I provide a number of mentoring services for people and organizations and that is what makes me want to get out of bed ever morning. To be of service and share the Gift of Mentoring is my calling!
Q: What are some wonderful stories from reverse mentorship -- a younger person mentoring an older person?
A: I do not use the term “reverse mentoring” as the definition of reverse means to go backwards. I do not want any of my mentoring experiences to be viewed as stepping backwards.
I look at the definition of mentoring as a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and mentee will learn and grow personally and professionally.
There is no mention of age in this definition.
When I go back over the list of people that I am working with age has not been a factor in any of the relationships. We always discuss the outcomes of our discussions and we both come away with something from the time we have spent together.
Reverse mentoring is actually “effective mentoring.”
Q: Are great leaders better at asking questions or giving answers?
A: The ideal great leader is one that is very adept at asking the right questions to stimulate critical thinking in those they work with.
If you continually give the answers then you become a crutch that people will come to as it is easier to ask for the answer than to think your way through the situation.
I worked with a leader in a mentoring relationship who didn’t realize the impact on their productivity by continually providing the answer to the same question repeatedly. When they took the time to sit the employee down and work through possible options to the problem they had more time to work on their tasks and they had a more engaged work force. Engaged and empowered.
Q: What qualities does a good mentor have?
A: There are a number of qualities that a good mentor should have. I usually recommend that you be an effective communicator - listen and hear, knows when to listen and when to guide, creates a safe environment for a mentoring conversation, builds a trusted relationship. They are also caring and understand that each person they spend time with in a mentoring relationship is unique so you need to tailor how you mentor to meet the needs of each person. They would have a supporting network that they can refer you to when it is something out of their comfort zone (professional counseling, etc.). Here are some additional characteristics: Passionate, Genuine, Humble, Caring, Great Communicator, Great Listener, Socratic Method, Competent, Committed and Dedicated.
A: The type of mentor that you are looking at would most definitely be someone that you had a long standing relationship with. I have some of those mentors in my life that work with me on a personal and professional basis.
Setting aside what I just wrote if you were to be looking for a dollar value to attach to lifetime access you would likely be paying for their time on an hourly basis or a block of time. I offer either one.
I would take a step back and clearly define what you are looking for and be open to the idea that lifetime access may not be the best solution for you.
Q: How can you develop leadership skills as a young professional?
A: I would strongly recommend finding a good mentor that can work with you to develop the leadership skills that you desire.
I am working with a number of people at various stages in their career to either enhance the skills they have or to develop and nurture leadership skills as needed. The mentoring approach has been working great for them. We work on their critical thinking skills as well as the basic fundamentals of being a good leader.
I encourage you to think about finding a good mentor to work with you.
Q: Would you ever consider mentoring someone who is older and going through a period of transition?
A: Yes. Effective mentoring is not tied to the question of age. Mentoring is a two way trusted relationship where both the mentor and mentee will learn and grow on a personal and professional basis. It doesn’t matter if one person is older than the other.
The thing to remember in the situation that you have presented is that the mentor doesn’t need to have all the answers. What they do need to have is the ability to ask the right questions to nurture the critical thinking process. The other key thing is that the mentor will likely have a good network that they can access to assist in addressing this situation.
Q: What would personally motivate you to act as a mentor?
A: What continues to motivate me is the opportunity to be of service to others. It is most rewarding to watch someone grow on a personal and professional basis when you are on a mentoring journey with them.
What motivates me to act as a mentor is the opportunity to learn and grow personally and professionally myself. With each mentoring relationship/arrangement I learn so much about others and about myself.
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Doug Lawrence is an extraordinary mentor and mentor certification trainer with TalentC and is the International Mentoring Community Director of Education.
Doug shows organizations how mentoring programs will influence a happy workforce culture (mentors), improve employee productivity (mentees), reducing costly employee high turnover (onboarding), improves the bottom line (organizations), which saves 150% to 200% of the annual salary of each departing employee. He provides one-on-one direct mentoring for individuals and groups, all backgrounds and industries locally and internationally.
Doug is an International Certified Mentor Practitioner (ICMP), an International Certified Mentor Facilitator (ICMF), and has obtained his Certificate of Achievement – Mentoring and his Certificate of Competence – Mentor from the International Mentoring Community (IMC).
Doug is recognized as a “Most viewed writer in the Business Mentoring and Mentors and Mentoring categories on the Quora website (www.quora.com).
An international speaker and author of The Gift of Mentoring (2014), Doug’s second book is set to publish in late 2019.
Do you have a workplace crisis or issue to resolve? Schedule a time to meet with Doug: https://calendly.com/doug-lawrence